What if guilt—not ambition—is the real burnout driver for working mothers? In this powerful conversation, Ashish Kothari sits down with Mary Sheehan to unpack why high-performing women feel stuck in a no-win game—and how leaders and individuals can redesign work to truly flourish.
This episode blends lived experience, leadership insight, and science-backed practices to help working parents move from exhaustion and self-blame to clarity, boundaries, and sustainable performance.
Key Topics Covered
Why guilt is the #1 struggle for working mothers—and how societal expectations amplify it
Values-based decision making as a practical antidote to burnout
The hidden cost of broken corporate systems: RTO mandates, inflexibility, childcare, and unpaid parental leave
Leadership’s role in inclusion: why flexibility and outcomes-based work benefit everyone
Mary’s powerful concept of the “Minimum Viable Person (MVP)”—small daily practices that restore energy and identity
Micro-practices for self-compassion, nervous system regulation, and resilience
How leaders at every level can redesign teams to support parents without sacrificing performance
Only ~20% of people are thriving at work—and working mothers are disproportionately paying the price. This conversation reframes flourishing not as a perk, but as a strategic leadership responsibility and a deeply human necessity.
__________________________________________________
Happiness Squad Website: https://happinesssquad.com/
Ashish Kothari: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashishkothari1/
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@MyHappinessSquad
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/happiness-squad
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/myhappinesssquad/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/myhappinesssquad
Transcript
Ashish Kothari:
Welcome to The Flourishing Edge, the podcast where we share weekly tips on making flourishing your competitive edge. I’m Ashish Kothari, your host, and each week we dive deep with flourishing experts, changemakers, and executives to share best practices that can help you unlock higher performance through science-based interventions.
Let’s step together into the edge of what’s possible and live, work, and lead with more joy, health, love, and meaning.
Mary, it is so wonderful to have you on our podcast, my dear friend.
Mary Sheehan:
I’m so excited to do this with you, Ashish. Thank you so much for the invite.
Ashish Kothari:
I’ve been so inspired by your posts on LinkedIn. We got to know each other there, and what really stands out is that your work comes from lived experience—as an executive, a mother, and a coach. Everything you do is about helping mothers navigate their lives without feeling like they have to choose either career or family, but instead truly flourish and achieve great things.
So I want to start with this question: from both your personal experience and the people you coach, what are the greatest struggles working mothers are facing in the executive world today?
Mary Sheehan:
Thank you for giving me this platform. I would say guilt—honestly. The number one thing it comes back to is guilt.
Women in high-performing professional careers feel guilty when they’re crushing it at work and not spending as much time with their family. And when they’re with their family, they feel guilty for not spending enough time at work. Add side hustles or creative projects into the mix, and it becomes a balancing scale that’s never fully balanced.
Society puts so much pressure on us. You scroll Instagram, read headlines, and it’s all about what “perfect moms” or “executive women” should be doing. It’s incredibly hard to cut through the noise and live from a values-based approach without guilt.
That’s what I try to help people do—get past the guilt, do what matters most to them, and live the life they were meant to live without feeling bad about it.
Ashish Kothari:
That resonates deeply with me. We ran a program with women CIOs and CTOs at Fortune 500 companies, and I was heartbroken when one woman shared that she beat herself up every day because she couldn’t cook a fresh meal for her kids—even though she was leading a massive organization.
There’s this deep belief that we’re never doing enough, even when we’re doing so much.
How have you personally navigated that tension? You mentioned taking a values-based approach—can you share how that works for you?
Mary Sheehan:
For me, it came from realizing that you can’t do everything perfectly—and that an unhappy parent trickles down to unhappy kids.
I sat down and identified my values: health, family, and creativity. Productivity, status, or wealth aren’t my top values right now. That clarity became my north star.
So if I take a 20-minute walk in the morning, I don’t feel guilty. I know it supports my health, makes me a better mom, and makes me better at work. I live my values in micro moments every day, and that helps release the guilt.
Ashish Kothari:
That reminds me of The Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware. One of the biggest regrets people share is not living a life true to their values, but instead living based on others’ expectations.
The life you live is only yours. And when you orient internally instead of externally, you can enjoy the journey instead of chasing things you can’t take with you anyway.
I want to pivot now to corporate culture. What aspects of today’s workplace feel most in conflict with motherhood?
Mary Sheehan:
There are many. Return-to-office mandates with rigid schedules are a huge one. We’ve learned we can be extremely productive remotely, yet flexibility is being taken away.
Kids’ schedules don’t align with corporate schedules. School ends early, sick days happen, childcare is expensive, and many women are also caring for aging parents.
Then there’s parental leave in the U.S.—12 weeks unpaid under FMLA. That’s asking women to go without income at one of the most vulnerable times of their lives. It’s unsustainable.
All of this creates an enormous mental burden, and inflexible workplaces make it even harder for women to show up fully.
Ashish Kothari:
What’s powerful here is that so much of this is within leaders’ control—flexibility, outcomes-based work, inclusive team norms. These changes don’t just help women; they help everyone.
And when leaders focus on inclusion rather than just numbers, they address the real reasons people leave.
Mary Sheehan:
Absolutely. One woman I coach is job hunting right now and is upfront about being a mom of twin toddlers. She interviews companies as much as they interview her, explaining she works on impact, not hours. It’s scary—but empowering.
Companies that offer part-time roles, flexible schedules, and trust can access incredible talent.
Ashish Kothari:
You’re doing this work now, but was there a moment where you burned out or felt inadequate?
Mary Sheehan:
All the time. My measure of success now isn’t staying balanced—it’s how quickly I reset.
After my first child, I returned to a new job and attended a work dinner on my first day back. I missed my son’s bedtime and sobbed in the car afterward. That was the moment I realized I needed to communicate my needs and set boundaries.
People only see “Mary the marketer” at work—not the baby at home. I learned that day to be realistic about what I say yes to and to advocate for myself.
Ashish Kothari:
So often, we make the choice and then beat ourselves up for it. That’s where values and self-compassion matter.
You’re not alone. If there’s one thing working moms should hear, it’s that this guilt is shared by so many.
Mary Sheehan:
Yes—and that’s why community matters so much. When I started sharing about this publicly, women reached out privately saying, “I feel the same way.” That’s why I created Propel Yourself—it’s about connection, shared experience, and support.
Ashish Kothari:
I love the concept you introduce—Minimum Viable Person. Can you explain what that means?
Mary Sheehan:
It comes from product management—the minimum viable product. I applied it to life.
After my second child, I had no time. So I asked: what’s the smallest thing I can do for myself? Five minutes of meditation. Ten minutes of walking.
Those micro moments changed everything. MVP time looks different for everyone—a hot cup of coffee alone, two minutes of sunshine, or a short workout. It removes guilt and builds momentum.
We even use MVPs as a family now—what each of us needs to have a good day.
Ashish Kothari:
That aligns so much with our micro-practices—mindful starts, mindful ends. Even brushing your teeth with presence can shift your nervous system.
Before bed, I invite people to take five minutes: write three gratitudes, three positives, or read something meaningful. It helps rewire the brain toward positivity as memories consolidate overnight.
Mary Sheehan:
I love that. I’m going to try it—and share it with my community.
Ashish Kothari:
Tell us about your vision for Propel Yourself and how people can find you.
Mary Sheehan:
It’s a growing community. About 50 women have been through the core program, and I’m launching another cohort in January. I also write a weekly newsletter—it’s a permission slip to live the life you want.
You can find me at propelyourself.co or on LinkedIn. I keep cohorts small—8 to 10 women—so the community stays intimate and supportive.
Ashish Kothari:
Thank you, Mary. Workplaces need this energy—connection, creativity, flexibility. You’re giving women tools to flourish personally and lead differently.
Mary Sheehan:
Thank you so much. This was incredibly fun.
Ashish Kothari:
Thank you for joining me on The Flourishing Edge. If today’s conversation inspired you, share it with someone who’s ready to flourish too. Subscribe, leave a review, and stay connected.
Until next time, keep learning, practicing, and growing into your fullest potential.
