Finding Your True Confidence

Historically, people often thought of confidence as being loud, outgoing, and always ready to take charge. It was about how boldly you spoke or how much you stood out in a group. But what if real confidence isn’t about standing out, but standing true to yourself? Today, we’re starting to see confidence differently. In this article, we’re going to explore how we can grow our true confidence with Lisa Sun, Founder and CEO of Gravitas.

For Lisa, true confidence is not about the loudness in your voice or the boldness in your step. It’s also not about how much you stand out in a crowd. Instead, it’s about knowing and trusting your own abilities and strengths.

It takes a journey inward to find your true confidence in yourself, and not just on what others see or expect. This is about embracing the real you, not the you everyone thinks you should be. So let’s explore how we can redefine our true confidence.

Embracing Self-worth

How do you define happiness? For Lisa, happiness is a sense of self-value and how she contributes to others and the world. She believes that true happiness and confidence go hand in hand. It’s about understanding that the real measure of our worth isn’t in the applause we receive from others, but in the strength and acceptance we find within ourselves. 

This kind of confidence isn’t loud or showy; it’s the quiet, steady belief in our own abilities and values. It grows from recognizing our own achievements, big and small, and knowing that our worth isn’t defined by others’ opinions. True confidence is more than just feeling good about ourselves – it’s a deeper, more meaningful way to live, where we’re grounded in our own sense of self-worth and purpose.

The 8 Superpowers of Confidence

Gone are the days when confidence was narrowly defined by assertiveness and extraversion. Instead, Lisa inspires us to think of confidence as a mix of eight superpowers. This shows us that true confidence comes in many shapes and sizes. These include:

  1. Leading: Being able to set direction, inspire others, and take charge.
  2. Performing: Exhibiting charisma and engaging others through energy exchange.
  3. Achieving: A knack for meeting goals and bouncing back from setbacks.
  4. Knowing: Being well-researched and process-oriented, the one you want for complex tasks.
  5. Giving: Supporting and empathizing with others, fostering collaboration.
  6. Believing: An optimistic outlook, seeing the best in situations and people.
  7. Creating: The ability to bring new ideas to life, turning concepts into reality.
  8. Self-Sustaining: Valuing oneself, independent of external validation.

We all show our true confidence in different ways. Confidence can be quiet yet impactful, creative, supportive, or deeply knowledgeable. As we embrace these eight superpowers, let’s celebrate the unique confidence within each of us and own our moment.

Overcoming Self-doubt

Imagine self-doubt as shadows, lurking and ready to make us question our worth. Lisa highlights two critical mindsets that often fuel these doubts: the ‘deficit mindset’ and the ‘shrinking effect.’ 

  1. Deficit mindset – This mindset traps us in focusing on our weaknesses or what’s missing, overshadowing our potential and strengths. 
  1. Shrinking effect – This leads us to underestimate our abilities, making us feel smaller compared to others or certain standards. 

These mindsets are like stealthy thieves of confidence, whispering that we’re not good enough or that we must be someone else. Recognizing these mindsets is the first step in our fight against self-doubt and building our true confidence. 

By confronting these challenges and identifying our unique strengths, we start a journey of growth, not just battling these doubts but rising above them to embrace and celebrate our true selves, with all our capabilities and achievements.

The Role of Self-Compassion and Awareness

We all have special strengths, but sometimes we don’t see them because we’re too busy thinking about what we’re not. It’s time that we cut the self-criticism out and embrace growth by being a bit more self-compassionate. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a good friend. It means acknowledging our mistakes and flaws without harsh judgment, understanding that imperfection is part of the human experience.

It’s time we shift our focus from what we think we lack to the unique superpowers we inherently possess. This is all about self-awareness. It is not about chasing an elusive ideal or constantly comparing ourselves to others, but about recognizing and embracing the diversity of strengths within each of us. By understanding and valuing these various abilities, we open doors to personal growth, self-compassion, and a more inclusive environment.


In wrapping up, it’s clear that being confident isn’t just about being loud or the center of attention. True confidence is a personal journey of recognizing our unique abilities, being kind to ourselves, and understanding that our worth isn’t just about what others think of us. It’s about knowing our strengths – whether we’re great leaders, creative thinkers, or supportive teammates – and using them to overcome self-doubt. This kind of confidence isn’t about fitting a standard mold; it’s about being authentically and comfortably ourselves. 

So let’s remember, as we move forward, to appreciate our own superpowers and those of the people around us, building a world where everyone can feel confident in their own unique way.

Meet Lisa Sun. She grew up in California as the daughter of Taiwanese immigrant parents. She was an overachiever at a young age, graduating from high school two years early and funding her entire Yale education with six part-time jobs, scholarships, and financial aid. 

After 11 years at McKenzie, she took a solo trip around the world and started her own clothing line, Gravitas. She promotes body positivity and self-confidence and recently released her book, Gravitas.

Learn more about Lisa at her LinkedIn.

Listen to the podcast with Ashish, Anil, and Lisa below.

Access and subscribe to all of the episodes of the Happiness Squad Podcast here.

Visit the REWIRE Program powered up by the HAPPINESS SQUAD Community and experience your shift within your 30-day risk-free trial today. Cultivate your Self-Awareness, Gratitude, Purpose, Community, and personal growth more through the 9 Hardwired for Happiness practices. Integrate simple and proven micro-practices grounded in the science of happiness and neuroscience of habit formation in 5 minutes a day.

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With the focus on enhancing joy, health, love and meaning in your life, my transformational approach is interdisciplinary and integrates learnings from spiritual wisdom traditions, philosophy, positive psychology, neuroscience and organizational development.

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